I’ve been listening to this song by this amazing artist named India Arie lately called “I am not my hair” which has kind of helped with my worries about how people are gonna react when I go back to college without my braids, because other than my family, no one has seen me with my natural hair.
I got thinking about Chris Rock’s Good Hair movie and loads of other stuff and then I started wondering if anyone else has faced bad comments about their natural hair. I remember a few years back near the beginning of secondary school I wore the front of my hair in cornrows and straightened the back, but it was starting to revert back to it’s natural state and some girls in my year were laughing and joking about how my natural hair didn’t look good and I should straighten it more (something along those lines). It doesn’t help that when I go to my hairdressers she will ALWAYS try to get my hair bone straight as it seems she doesn’t know what else to do with natural hair.
Looking back, I think how terrible it was that people judged others because of their “frizzy” or “messy” hair and only now is it that i’m starting to appreciate my hair more and I feel alot better for it, as I do not feel like I have to hide my hair under perms, hot presses or extensions.

When I go back to college in September I hope I don’t let the naysayers get to me. I like my curls. 

You shouldn’t listen to people who try to bring you down, including family or friends. Its your hair at the end of the day. You have to remember that a lot of people are ignorant about natural hair and how beautiful it can look.  Once they see it can be beautiful, I’m sure that they will change their minds. Also, you should try and find another hairdresser who knows a lot about natural hair to do your hair.

Yeah, I get it from my family a lot. They don’t like my hair out because it doesn’t look ‘done’ 

A lot of people do judge others on hair - certain hair types come with stereotypes, such as dreadlocks, blonde hair, people with brightly coloured hair, girls with short hair, guys with long hair.

We just gottta ignore it, I guess. Re the song:  Have you heard the version with Pink on it? I much prefer that to the Akon version ^_^

You could try showing them you tube vids and fotkis with people looking really good with a similar hair type to you. I did that and anyone I knew that was unsure about being natural, really like it (well on me anyway! Its still a bit hard to get some people I know to do it - including the ones who have curly / wavy hair!).

It’s hard and I wish I had thicker skin, I had some strangers comment on me needing a perm last week, I was well vexed.
Remembering what I was like re. natural hair back in the day made me realise why it was being said, and lessened the hurt.

Good luck to you! Chin up, head raised, you’ve made the right decision by you, remember that!

Good luck to all of you who are having to face stereotypes and peer pressure.

It is your hair, you are not growing theirs natural, so why oh why does it bother them so much?

lela7 - 31 August 2010 01:40 PM

You could try showing them you tube vids and fotkis with people looking really good with a similar hair type to you. I did that and anyone I knew that was unsure about being natural, really like it (well on me anyway! Its still a bit hard to get some people I know to do it - including the ones who have curly / wavy hair!).

I could try that with my friends, but my family is too stubborn to change their medival views on black hair. Everyone in my family has natural hair, so I never understand why I get the same amount of flack for wearing it out when i’m outta road, and for the times I used to perm my hair. I’m damned if I do, and damned if I do otherwise.Though, saying that, my nan and my aunt wea their hair under a wig. Luckily, my Mum is combing round to the idea of re-educating herself on hair care.

angel_sista - 31 August 2010 12:23 PM

Yeah, I get it from my family a lot. They don’t like my hair out because it doesn’t look ‘done’ 

A lot of people do judge others on hair - certain hair types come with stereotypes, such as dreadlocks, blonde hair, people with brightly coloured hair, girls with short hair, guys with long hair.

We just gottta ignore it, I guess. Re the song:  Have you heard the version with Pink on it? I much prefer that to the Akon version ^_^

Yeah, my Nan always complains that I should clip a piece of false hair to back of my head, til this day I don’t understand how that will make my hair look any ‘better’.

I quite like both versions, but prefer the Akon probably because I heard it first.

It’s the people who talk behind your back that grate on me the most. It’s definetly going to be a new learning process for me, throughout the second half of my College year; i’m gonna more confident in myself and focus on pleasing myself not others.

As you all say, you gotta keep your chin up. I don’t bother my time processing the words of strangers because they don’t know me at all.

LastMinuteLizzie - 08 September 2010 12:50 PM

lela7 - 31 August 2010 01:40 PM

You could try showing them you tube vids and fotkis with people looking really good with a similar hair type to you. I did that and anyone I knew that was unsure about being natural, really like it (well on me anyway! Its still a bit hard to get some people I know to do it - including the ones who have curly / wavy hair!).

I could try that with my friends, but my family is too stubborn to change their medival views on black hair. Everyone in my family has natural hair, so I never understand why I get the same amount of flack for wearing it out when i’m outta road, and for the times I used to perm my hair. I’m damned if I do, and damned if I do otherwise.Though, saying that, my nan and my aunt wea their hair under a wig. Luckily, my Mum is combing round to the idea of re-educating herself on hair care.

angel_sista - 31 August 2010 12:23 PM

Yeah, I get it from my family a lot. They don’t like my hair out because it doesn’t look ‘done’ 

A lot of people do judge others on hair - certain hair types come with stereotypes, such as dreadlocks, blonde hair, people with brightly coloured hair, girls with short hair, guys with long hair.

We just gottta ignore it, I guess. Re the song:  Have you heard the version with Pink on it? I much prefer that to the Akon version ^_^

Yeah, my Nan always complains that I should clip a piece of false hair to back of my head, til this day I don’t understand how that will make my hair look any ‘better’.

I quite like both versions, but prefer the Akon probably because I heard it first.

It’s the people who talk behind your back that grate on me the most. It’s definetly going to be a new learning process for me, throughout the second half of my College year; i’m gonna more confident in myself and focus on pleasing myself not others.

As you all say, you gotta keep your chin up. I don’t bother my time processing the words of strangers because they don’t know me at all.

I hope your second half of college goes alright! Are you in a city college? During my late teens, I lived out in the sticks, so my friends had never seen hair like mine - though I kept it in braids and twists after I BC’ed

My Mummy thinks i look like an alien when i straighten my hair!  It also takes too long and i cant be bothered   So enjoy your hair and keep it the way nature intended!  Happy days

Re-educating people can be quite difficult because they are only doing what their family has done for generations. Everyone said I could never change the condition of my hair. Even though I have been natural for most of my life, I wore braids and didn’t take care of it properly at all! I used blue magic and nothing else, hot combed too much , barely moisturised, used sulphate shampoos, and the list goes on! I worked out that my previous routine was the reason why my hair was very coarse and never seemed to grow that long. Everyone said that would never change no matter what I did. Now its grow faster than it ever has done and its still going. The back part is reaching almost APL and now I have super soft hair.  Before I could barely get it beyond my shoulders! Let alone have that amount of growth in approximately 2 years. Everyone has been proved wrong and the people that said the comments to me have all admitted they were wrong. My mum is convinced that my hair has magically changed texture, but it seems to ‘changed’ at the same time, I strarted taking good care of it….........hmmm I think I’m seeing a connection. When they see results, peoples minds can be altered.

I understand were you are coming from. Stereotypes abound, especially if you don’t have the looser curls which some people consider ‘good’ hair. However, all hair if cared for and healthy is ‘good’ hair and I have learned to ignore people who don’t see it that way. I actually feel a bit sorry for anyone who’s ignorance, lack of exposure and closed outlook keeps them from embracing or at least appreciating the uniqueness of others. Basically where is it written that your standards of beauty are the only ones and unless I conform I don’t deserve respect or to be viewed as beautiful?
It helps to have a natural friend so you can encourage each other and of course checking out great pics of amazing naturals including celebs. Check out this link from naturallycurly, the goodies really start from pages 2 onwards. http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=63416
Inspirational, right?

Just remember you are perfect as God made you; own it!

this is probably a really shallow analogy, but it was just something i noticed.

i watch this show called vampire diaries- i am sorry its really rubbish but i am hooked! anyway there are two girls that look identical -one evil and one good- guess who has the curls/waves- the evil one. it is really shallow, but these are the subtle subliminal messages we r given every single day to make us think that the strighter your hair, the better. even my daughter has picked up on this and she just turned 3!!!! she said she wants straight hair like her friend so she can shake it and she will look like a princess-i couldnt adam and eve it! lol but actually it is scary! self esteem issues have already begun!

Hi there

I have been natural for a few years now and i remember my first year was a battle…i got a lot of comments about my hair, some negative some positive but the thing that worked for me was that i wore my hair with confidence and strutted my stuff like halle berry LOL

There were somedays when my hair was really short that i wish it was straight and i could just put in in a ponytail and go out but i worked with what i had, during that process i feel in love with my curls, i always tell people, its only hair

My mantra is that my hair is part of me, you like it fine, you don’t like it that’s fine too.

Hope this helps

And if you need any help, just do like Willow Smith and Whip Your Hair!

When I was a kid at school, I was always teased for having curly hair.  Because it wasn’t long, sleek and shiny like a lot of my peers, I got called “Buck’s Frizz!” Even my sister cottoned on to it - (aren’t kids cruel sometimes!) I was ashamed of it then, but now I’m an adult, I wear my curls with pride.  Luckily the negative comments now are few and far between (although I do chuckle to myself when I see some teenage girls look at my hair and they visibly smooth their poker straight locks with their hands as if they have seen something which is completely alien to them!)  Whenever I’m feeling down about my hair, I always remember this - angels and cherubs are always depicted in paintings with beautiful ringlets and holding harps in their hands (not a pair of hair straighteners!)

proudcurlygirly - 28 October 2010 01:10 PM

Whenever I’m feeling down about my hair, I always remember this - angels and cherubs are always depicted in paintings with beautiful ringlets and holding harps in their hands (not a pair of hair straighteners!)

Hahaha! So true!