Hi Lela,
Thank you for all the info about the wigs, oooh, i am so definitely going to get one i think over the summer.
Just for a bit of a change, i really enjoy doing my hair, wayyy too much in fact, i think it’s a bit unhealthy how much i like to do it over and over again!
And your mum and sister are right, with more practice you’ll just get better and better and feel less frustrated, you’ve done the first step, which is accepting that you are at that “beginner’s” stage you know?
i love that lady’s videos, i think her name is katylynne or something like that, i didn’t check the links you posted but i knew immediately who you were referring to, i am a subscriber of hers, and she is fab!

Happy New Year!! and by this time next year, you’ll defo be a pro of your hair!

Jackylou - 31 December 2010 12:00 AM

Hi Lela,
Thank you for all the info about the wigs, oooh, i am so definitely going to get one i think over the summer.
Just for a bit of a change, i really enjoy doing my hair, wayyy too much in fact, i think it’s a bit unhealthy how much i like to do it over and over again!
And your mum and sister are right, with more practice you’ll just get better and better and feel less frustrated, you’ve done the first step, which is accepting that you are at that “beginner’s” stage you know?
i love that lady’s videos, i think her name is katylynne or something like that, i didn’t check the links you posted but i knew immediately who you were referring to, i am a subscriber of hers, and she is fab!

Happy New Year!! and by this time next year, you’ll defo be a pro of your hair!

I’m a wig whisperer! Thanks for the encouragement and happy new year or Gelukkig NieuwJaar! (I hope that is right).

Dank je wel en ja dat is waar! Happy new year!!

@ Jackylou: You hair looks lovely in your avatar and now I’m addicted to watching your youtube vids. I loved your new year video, so funny!

Newest hair post
After a few more attempts at doing at more hair and the results not going well or as well as I would like, I decided that for my work, I’d go back to old faithful, (a wig). I was waking up very early and I wouldn’t have time to fix any hair problems that might, (or probably would arise). So I found a curly one I really liked, that suited me really well. It was shoulder length, dark brown / black with 3b/3c type curls.  When I was at work, lots of people gave me random compliments about how beautiful my hair was. A family was staring at me while I was eating lunch and talking amongst themselves, which was weird! When I was in the toilet, the daughter said we were staring because your hair looks so beautiful. No one had any idea it was a wig because it did look very real, and I chose a style I could probably do now if I straightened and then curled my hair.

Even though, I liked the nice comments I also started to feel a bit bad about it. People are complimenting something that’s not mine and even though I could recreate the wig, it does not represent the natural texture of my hair. So now I’m feeling a bit more nervous about wearing my hair out, since its the wig that people seem to love.

So this combined with the fact that I have to rely on other people for my hair to look nice, has made this even more frustrating. I don’t like having to rely on other people for help.

Just had to vent.

Just had a much needed trim on the weekend, I really needed it, which puts me at one trim per year. I have all this increased length, (although the front goes slower which is annoying), and I can’t seem to do anything with it, apart from canerows and adding a wig! I just want to have the versatility that other naturals have. Picked out afros with the hair standing off my forehead don’t suit me because of my forehead. I need some hair going onto my forehead otherwise I look horrendous. I tried the picked out fro, because I saw a very pretty black girl doing a similar style and she looked really cute. When I tried it….cute was not the word I would describe. My family were like….“no, we don’t think so.” I need an afro like this with some hair falling onto my forehead and I’m not sure how to do this without extra styling.

Ahhhhhh! :p

Hi Lela! I dont think that you should beat yourself up coz of the wig. It looked nice on you and thats all that matters. The wig was part of “YOU” when you had it on so dont think of it as something “fake” that people liked. I am sure it was more the way you wore the wig that brought out the beauty of the wig. You would put the same wig on someone else and it would not look as nice as it looked on you. So go rock it girl any time you feel like having something different. Sometimes we just have to rely on people , it is not a negative thing. With practice you will be able to do your own hair. I was miserable the first time i had to go to work with my own natural hair and to make it worse with corn rows that i made myself. I knew that they did not look good. I did not get compliments on my hair the way i ususally do , some people just said ” Is it a new style now again?” And i felt that i had to explain that i did it myself.( I was embarrased). Some of my close work mates even said that my style did not look nice. That is when i decided that i will NOT go to the hair dressers and people just have to get used to my NOT SO GOOD hair style. It is 8 weeks now and i am still struggling. You will get there. You probably wont be as good making your own hair like some people on YT but with your familys help you will get to the point where by you can enjoy doing your own styles that suit you and you feel comfortable with. Sorry this became lengthy, did not mean to.

Hi Lela,
Thank you for the compliment! and for watching the videos! i am glad to enjoy them heeheehee

Sorry you are feeling a bit down about the wig i can relate a little. I always get so many compliments when i have braid/twists extensions in. Though i appreciate the compliments, i am always a bit down afterwards cos it seems as though they prefer fake hair on me to my natural hair. I think most of it however is to do with length, not the actual texture of the hair.
When i wear my natural hair BIG, i get loads of compliments, as opposed to when it styled more “conservatively”.
in a way that is the reason i have put off buying myself a nice wig, i am afraid i will get compliments! 

@kadogo: you got the right attitude about it, and practice makes perfect! that’s what i do, sometimes the styles i do don’t look so nice and even hubby would comment, but hey, it’s not like they are permanent! i love your new avatar pic!!

Thanks Jacky.

lela7 - 08 January 2011 07:54 AM

@ Jackylou: You hair looks lovely in your avatar and now I’m addicted to watching your youtube vids. I loved your new year video, so funny!

Newest hair post
After a few more attempts at doing at more hair and the results not going well or as well as I would like, I decided that for my work, I’d go back to old faithful, (a wig). I was waking up very early and I wouldn’t have time to fix any hair problems that might, (or probably would arise). So I found a curly one I really liked, that suited me really well. It was shoulder length, dark brown / black with 3b/3c type curls.  When I was at work, lots of people gave me random compliments about how beautiful my hair was. A family was staring at me while I was eating lunch and talking amongst themselves, which was weird! When I was in the toilet, the daughter said we were staring because your hair looks so beautiful. No one had any idea it was a wig because it did look very real, and I chose a style I could probably do now if I straightened and then curled my hair.

Even though, I liked the nice comments I also started to feel a bit bad about it. People are complimenting something that’s not mine and even though I could recreate the wig, it does not represent the natural texture of my hair. So now I’m feeling a bit more nervous about wearing my hair out, since its the wig that people seem to love.

So this combined with the fact that I have to rely on other people for my hair to look nice, has made this even more frustrating. I don’t like having to rely on other people for help.

Just had to vent.

Just had a much needed trim on the weekend, I really needed it, which puts at one trim per year. I have all this increased length, (although the front goes slower which is annoying), and I can’t seem to do anything with it, apart from canerows and adding a wig! I just want to have the versatility that other naturals have. Picked out afros with the hair standing off my forehead don’t suit me because of my forehead. I need some hair going onto my forehead otherwise I look horrendous. I tried the picked out fro, because I saw a very pretty black girl doing a similar style and she looked really cute. When I tried it….cute was not the word I would describe. My family were like….“no, we don’t think so.” I need an afro like this with some hair falling onto my forehead and I’m not sure how to do this without extra styling.

Ahhhhhh! :p

Wow that is some seriously big afro! I think whatever you have you can try and embrace your hair as it is now. The more you yearn for hair that isn’t yours at this time the more frustrated you might get with your hair as it grows. Of course with a little patience your hair will get to the length you desire but that might take a while. Love and appreciate what you have now as this is almost like the foundation stage and what happens to your hair now will be one the ends of your hair say three years later.

It must’ve been nice to receive those compliments re: the wig and it must’ve looked nice, I think ppl were staring and giving compliments too because you felt good with it. An ppl allure themselves to that. Don’t worry that they were complimenting you on the wig, you were still wearing it and rocked it in a way that attracted compliments.

Hair can be a frustrating deal sometimes eh?! How about some head wraps? some really elegant ones where you can wrap around the perimeter of your head covering your forehead and then have the rest of your hair out loose at the back in like a braid/twist out or something? Maybe try this style while out and about at the weekend so you wont have your workmates or family doubting you because you can easily take it off and you might feel more relaxed about it. Once you build up your confidence maybe wear it like that to an away day at work/ half day or a more relaxed work day and then that might take away some of the anxiety you feel about wearing your hair out.

kadogo26 - 08 January 2011 09:00 AM

Hi Lela! I dont think that you should beat yourself up coz of the wig. It looked nice on you and thats all that matters. The wig was part of “YOU” when you had it on so dont think of it as something “fake” that people liked. I am sure it was more the way you wore the wig that brought out the beauty of the wig. You would put the same wig on someone else and it would not look as nice as it looked on you. So go rock it girl any time you feel like having something different. Sometimes we just have to rely on people , it is not a negative thing. With practice you will be able to do your own hair. I was miserable the first time i had to go to work with my own natural hair and to make it worse with corn rows that i made myself. I knew that they did not look good. I did not get compliments on my hair the way i ususally do , some people just said ” Is it a new style now again?” And i felt that i had to explain that i did it myself.( I was embarrased). Some of my close work mates even said that my style did not look nice. That is when i decided that i will NOT go to the hair dressers and people just have to get used to my NOT SO GOOD hair style. It is 8 weeks now and i am still struggling. You will get there. You probably wont be as good making your own hair like some people on YT but with your familys help you will get to the point where by you can enjoy doing your own styles that suit you and you feel comfortable with. Sorry this became lengthy, did not mean to.

I like your stance and your determination to keep on going even when you received negative feedback re: your hair. Have you thought of going to the hairdresser and getting a simple caneroew style. When it gets old just redoing them? You can cover with a nice elegant head scarf if it takes too long. Ths is how i learned to canerow the back of my hair which is always awkward. I was told once by a work mate ’ i know you do your hair yourself!’ she didn’t mean it horribly i was embarrassed at first but eventually took it to mean I need more practice! I am getting better too

lela7 - 08 January 2011 07:54 AM

Just had to vent.

Just had a much needed trim on the weekend, I really needed it, which puts at one trim per year. I have all this increased length, (although the front goes slower which is annoying), and I can’t seem to do anything with it, apart from canerows and adding a wig! I just want to have the versatility that other naturals have. Picked out afros with the hair standing off my forehead don’t suit me because of my forehead. I need some hair going onto my forehead otherwise I look horrendous. I tried the picked out fro, because I saw a very pretty black girl doing a similar style and she looked really cute. When I tried it….cute was not the word I would describe. My family were like….“no, we don’t think so.” I need an afro like this with some hair falling onto my forehead and I’m not sure how to do this without extra styling.

Ahhhhhh! :p

I feel you on not wanting hair off your forehead (though that section of my hair doesn’t do that any ways - it just flops over). If you just section off some hair in the front, you can style it so that it falls forward over your forehead. Some bobby pins will help it stay down (if you swoop it to the side a little bit).

Jackylou - 08 January 2011 09:30 AM

Hi Lela,
Thank you for the compliment! and for watching the videos! i am glad to enjoy them heeheehee

Sorry you are feeling a bit down about the wig i can relate a little. I always get so many compliments when i have braid/twists extensions in. Though i appreciate the compliments, i am always a bit down afterwards cos it seems as though they prefer fake hair on me to my natural hair. I think most of it however is to do with length, not the actual texture of the hair.
When i wear my natural hair BIG, i get loads of compliments, as opposed to when it styled more “conservatively”.
in a way that is the reason i have put off buying myself a nice wig, i am afraid i will get compliments! 

@kadogo: you got the right attitude about it, and practice makes perfect! that’s what i do, sometimes the styles i do don’t look so nice and even hubby would comment, but hey, it’s not like they are permanent! i love your new avatar pic!!

I agree with you about Kadogo’s pic. U look lovely.

kadogo26 - 08 January 2011 09:00 AM

Hi Lela! I dont think that you should beat yourself up coz of the wig. It looked nice on you and thats all that matters. The wig was part of “YOU” when you had it on so dont think of it as something “fake” that people liked. I am sure it was more the way you wore the wig that brought out the beauty of the wig. You would put the same wig on someone else and it would not look as nice as it looked on you. So go rock it girl any time you feel like having something different. Sometimes we just have to rely on people , it is not a negative thing. With practice you will be able to do your own hair. I was miserable the first time i had to go to work with my own natural hair and to make it worse with corn rows that i made myself. I knew that they did not look good. I did not get compliments on my hair the way i ususally do , some people just said ” Is it a new style now again?” And i felt that i had to explain that i did it myself.( I was embarrased). Some of my close work mates even said that my style did not look nice. That is when i decided that i will NOT go to the hair dressers and people just have to get used to my NOT SO GOOD hair style. It is 8 weeks now and i am still struggling. You will get there. You probably wont be as good making your own hair like some people on YT but with your familys help you will get to the point where by you can enjoy doing your own styles that suit you and you feel comfortable with. Sorry this became lengthy, did not mean to.

Thanks for the kind words. I sometimes feel like I have to maintain this veneer that everything to do with natural hair is super easy amongst my friends. Since I’m the only natural they take everything I do is taken as an example of what natural hair is always like - good or bad! If I ever had any problems, that just attribute it to being without a relaxer and suggest I just go back. So I can’t really tell them, because its just more likely to put them off going natural or even the possibility.

thenaprika - 08 January 2011 11:08 AM

lela7 - 08 January 2011 07:54 AM

@ Jackylou: You hair looks lovely in your avatar and now I’m addicted to watching your youtube vids. I loved your new year video, so funny!

Newest hair post
After a few more attempts at doing at more hair and the results not going well or as well as I would like, I decided that for my work, I’d go back to old faithful, (a wig). I was waking up very early and I wouldn’t have time to fix any hair problems that might, (or probably would arise). So I found a curly one I really liked, that suited me really well. It was shoulder length, dark brown / black with 3b/3c type curls.  When I was at work, lots of people gave me random compliments about how beautiful my hair was. A family was staring at me while I was eating lunch and talking amongst themselves, which was weird! When I was in the toilet, the daughter said we were staring because your hair looks so beautiful. No one had any idea it was a wig because it did look very real, and I chose a style I could probably do now if I straightened and then curled my hair.

Even though, I liked the nice comments I also started to feel a bit bad about it. People are complimenting something that’s not mine and even though I could recreate the wig, it does not represent the natural texture of my hair. So now I’m feeling a bit more nervous about wearing my hair out, since its the wig that people seem to love.

So this combined with the fact that I have to rely on other people for my hair to look nice, has made this even more frustrating. I don’t like having to rely on other people for help.

Just had to vent.

Just had a much needed trim on the weekend, I really needed it, which puts at one trim per year. I have all this increased length, (although the front goes slower which is annoying), and I can’t seem to do anything with it, apart from canerows and adding a wig! I just want to have the versatility that other naturals have. Picked out afros with the hair standing off my forehead don’t suit me because of my forehead. I need some hair going onto my forehead otherwise I look horrendous. I tried the picked out fro, because I saw a very pretty black girl doing a similar style and she looked really cute. When I tried it….cute was not the word I would describe. My family were like….“no, we don’t think so.” I need an afro like this with some hair falling onto my forehead and I’m not sure how to do this without extra styling.

Ahhhhhh! :p

Wow that is some seriously big afro! I think whatever you have you can try and embrace your hair as it is now. The more you yearn for hair that isn’t yours at this time the more frustrated you might get with your hair as it grows. Of course with a little patience your hair will get to the length you desire but that might take a while. Love and appreciate what you have now as this is almost like the foundation stage and what happens to your hair now will be one the ends of your hair say three years later.

It must’ve been nice to receive those compliments re: the wig and it must’ve looked nice, I think ppl were staring and giving compliments too because you felt good with it. An ppl allure themselves to that. Don’t worry that they were complimenting you on the wig, you were still wearing it and rocked it in a way that attracted compliments.

Hair can be a frustrating deal sometimes eh?! How about some head wraps? some really elegant ones where you can wrap around the perimeter of your head covering your forehead and then have the rest of your hair out loose at the back in like a braid/twist out or something? Maybe try this style while out and about at the weekend so you wont have your workmates or family doubting you because you can easily take it off and you might feel more relaxed about it. Once you build up your confidence maybe wear it like that to an away day at work/ half day or a more relaxed work day and then that might take away some of the anxiety you feel about wearing your hair out.

Its not so much the overall length in the pic I wanted, (even though that would be nice! lol ). It was just a pic I found with an afro coming on the forehead that I wanted to highlight. Thanks for the tips. I will definately give it a try!

angel_sista - 08 January 2011 01:38 PM

lela7 - 08 January 2011 07:54 AM

Just had to vent.

Just had a much needed trim on the weekend, I really needed it, which puts at one trim per year. I have all this increased length, (although the front goes slower which is annoying), and I can’t seem to do anything with it, apart from canerows and adding a wig! I just want to have the versatility that other naturals have. Picked out afros with the hair standing off my forehead don’t suit me because of my forehead. I need some hair going onto my forehead otherwise I look horrendous. I tried the picked out fro, because I saw a very pretty black girl doing a similar style and she looked really cute. When I tried it….cute was not the word I would describe. My family were like….“no, we don’t think so.” I need an afro like this with some hair falling onto my forehead and I’m not sure how to do this without extra styling.

Ahhhhhh! :p

I feel you on not wanting hair off your forehead (though that section of my hair doesn’t do that any ways - it just flops over). If you just section off some hair in the front, you can style it so that it falls forward over your forehead. Some bobby pins will help it stay down (if you swoop it to the side a little bit).[/quote

Thanks for the tip.

kadogo26 - 08 January 2011 09:00 AM

Hi Lela! I dont think that you should beat yourself up coz of the wig. It looked nice on you and thats all that matters. The wig was part of “YOU” when you had it on so dont think of it as something “fake” that people liked. I am sure it was more the way you wore the wig that brought out the beauty of the wig. You would put the same wig on someone else and it would not look as nice as it looked on you. So go rock it girl any time you feel like having something different. Sometimes we just have to rely on people , it is not a negative thing. With practice you will be able to do your own hair. I was miserable the first time i had to go to work with my own natural hair and to make it worse with corn rows that i made myself. I knew that they did not look good. I did not get compliments on my hair the way i ususally do , some people just said ” Is it a new style now again?” And i felt that i had to explain that i did it myself.( I was embarrased). Some of my close work mates even said that my style did not look nice. That is when i decided that i will NOT go to the hair dressers and people just have to get used to my NOT SO GOOD hair style. It is 8 weeks now and i am still struggling. You will get there. You probably wont be as good making your own hair like some people on YT but with your familys help you will get to the point where by you can enjoy doing your own styles that suit you and you feel comfortable with. Sorry this became lengthy, did not mean to.

U shouldn’t be embarrased - I think hair is a work in progress!