Ok, so i have not relaxed my hair for about 3 or 4 years now, and before that i did it ALOT less often then most people do it. I have no relaxed hair left on my head at all (it all broke off lol).
Before i relaxed my hair, my hair was nice and thick (although i didn’t appreciate it at the time) My hair was first relaxed when i was just in nursery! (really bad) and only done once, it was re-done when i got to primary school and then on and off during my school days.
Before i relaxed my hair, i would guess my hair was a 3c or 4a…but thats just trying to guess from pics ive seen…obviously my hair is really messed up from relaxing at such a young age…now i dont know what to do with it.
My hair is so thin and it just doesnt look good being this thin, its even thin when i leave it curly, its just thin but frizzy. I used to have very defined curls with alot of shrinkage..now its these wispy very loose curls. I would love to have my old curls back, will it ever happen or am i just chasing a false dream??
To get real curls i need to load my hair with product otherwise my curls are too loose. I’d love my hair to stand up like scary spice lol but as it has grown from when i cut it, it just falls down..it has a little volume but not enough….for any of you that have relaxed their hair in the past, and it left your hair (permanently??) changed and thin, did it ever thicken up again? do you ever get your old curls back?

PS. i can make my hair LOOK thickr, but by mid-day it starts looking lank again, how can i keep it looking thick all day

CurlyQ - 16 May 2011 11:15 AM

Ok, so i have not relaxed my hair for about 3 or 4 years now, and before that i did it ALOT less often then most people do it. I have no relaxed hair left on my head at all (it all broke off lol).
Before i relaxed my hair, my hair was nice and thick (although i didn’t appreciate it at the time) My hair was first relaxed when i was just in nursery! (really bad) and only done once, it was re-done when i got to primary school and then on and off during my school days.
Before i relaxed my hair, i would guess my hair was a 3c or 4a…but thats just trying to guess from pics ive seen…obviously my hair is really messed up from relaxing at such a young age…now i dont know what to do with it.
My hair is so thin and it just doesnt look good being this thin, its even thin when i leave it curly, its just thin but frizzy. I used to have very defined curls with alot of shrinkage..now its these wispy very loose curls. I would love to have my old curls back, will it ever happen or am i just chasing a false dream??
To get real curls i need to load my hair with product otherwise my curls are too loose. I’d love my hair to stand up like scary spice lol but as it has grown from when i cut it, it just falls down..it has a little volume but not enough….for any of you that have relaxed their hair in the past, and it left your hair (permanently??) changed and thin, did it ever thicken up again? do you ever get your old curls back?

PS. i can make my hair LOOK thickr, but by mid-day it starts looking lank again, how can i keep it looking thick all day

Well relaxers can have damaging effects. I relaxed my hair for less than a year and it made the new growth (as in the new hair growing out of my head), very wiry and coarse. I have been natural most of my life, so I know what my natural hair is like. People don’t realise relaxers can affect the unrelaxed hair growing out of your head. However, after a few months of tlc my hair is back to the way it was before the relaxer. Not everyone find this, but if you do - I would recommend deep conditioning and using very moisturising products - shea butter and qhemet biologics helped me save my hair, but different things work for different people. U just have to leave your hair to grow back and give it tons of tlc, it can go back to the way it was before -just don’t worry and be patient!

I know we want the hair we want, the second we want it - but it can take time. I did lots of protective styling because my hair was in such a bad state and that helped because I was guarding it from excessive manipulation and the elements. U could try limiting styling to much for a while to see if that helps.

I agree with Lela’s response -lots of TLC & patience needed if your hair is in a fragile state.

However putting a few relaxers 3-4 yrs ago ago would not result in thin undefined hair now…it sounds as if there is another culprit. A few things to think about:
*Have you permanently coloured/ bleached your hair then dyed it back to your natural tone in the last few years?
*Has your diet drastically changed?
*Have you developed an illness or do you have another other health issues that you are you regularly taking medication for?
*Did you have a child just before your hair thinned?

(Obviously not telling you to discuss any health issues/personal life on this forum, but the things above could all be big factors in your hair’s deterioration/current state)

Would you consider a major cut ? Or are you adamant about retaining length?

Hello CurlyQ,

I wouldn’t focus too much on memories of pre-relaxer hair in order to predict what your hair should be like now; try to work with what you have at present . I definitely think that the condition of hair can change from childhood to adulthood due to a range of internal and external factors (such as the examples outlined by La Rizada).

I’m not sure what I think regarding relaxers damaging future hair growth. My last relaxer was in December 2008 and today I find that there is hair texture as well as curl pattern variation across my head but nothing abnormal e.g. those who haven’t used relaxers can also have coarser hair in the crown region. I may not have suffered significant hair follicle damage, but I do suspect relaxers have left me with a more sensitive scalp.

When you say that your hair is thin when you leave it curly, are you straightening your hair regularly? If so, it is possible that heat damage may be why your curls are loosening. I’m not aware of the condition of your hair ends but are you due for a trim? This may help to add some volume, but will obviously reduce length. Also, depending on your curl type and assuming you have longer hair, the length and weight of hair may make curls appear different; with longer hair the weight may elongate the curl pattern (which is not a terrible thing in my opinion).

Thanks, these were all really helpful answers.
Lela7, i think your right about it changing your hair, my older brothers and sisters remember what my hair was like before, and they say it is totally different now, from having hair thick like a lions mane lol, i now cant even wear my hair straightened because its just embarrassing how thin my hair is lol, so yea i think you’re right about that. Do you find any particular brand of shea butter better then others? I use olive oil regularly but i haven’t tried shea butter.

La Rizada- i didn’t even think of the hair dyes i have had as a factor, even though i knew they were damaging, i just thought it was too long ago to make a difference, but i have had my hair bleached and dyed a couple of times in the last 3-4 years. Does it still affect your hair even if there aren’t any bleached bits left and there are only semi-permanent dyes in? I always remember to buy good things for my hair but don’t think of vitamins!! definitely going to be onto my vitamin intake to see if there is an improvement.

Natural mane, i rarely straighten my hair now, i have done it about 5 times in the last 4 years. My hair is different all-over like yours. Do you find certain products are good in most of your hair then maybe not in a certain section where that part is different? I do lol, i need to do separate routines on different sections sometimes lol. And yea…i think i do need a trim, i was putting it off for a while so it could grow 1st, but i think i definitely will now…i’m scared though, the hairdressers always do it wrong so i haven’t let anybody near it for years lol…not good i know. And yup, my hair has changed since it has grown, when i 1st went natural i had proper curls, it was still thin though, but looked alot more voluminous when my curls were tighter.

Thank you so so much to all 3 of you, Ive got lots of new things to try out now, considering all the damaging factors you all mentioned…I’ll work my way through them and see what it is thats making it so thin. Thanks alot!

Sheabuttercottage.co.uk makes some of the best quality. If u want something more high street I’ve recently introduced my sister to Taliah Waajid curly curl cream. Very natural and moisturising and she loves it! She has defined 4a afro hair which goes shiny when moisturised, and with the product its super shiny and soft. I’ve definately be giving it a try after I run out of Qhemet. I love Taliah waajid and the protective mist bodifer, which my sister, myself and mum (type 3 hair) really love. You can look on youtube to see reviews and what the products look like and if its something u are interested in. I don’t know if your hair will like all the things my hair likes, so its a bit of trial and error. The curly cream is the only reasonably priced natural product I’ve seen on the high street, but I’ve only seen it in Pak, not in every hair shop

I’m currently just using a rinse out conditioner as a leave-in (Garnier Fructis Repair and Shine) and then I seal with oils (coconut and olive). This seems to work well for my hair in general though I do tend to apply more leave-in to the drier and more frizz prone areas. I don’t think I have the patience to cater to each curl patch hehe , though I do admire you for that. Lately I have been eyeing the Supreme Curl Cream and the Curl Reviver both by Curl Harmony as potential creamy moisturisers as well as the Hairveda Whipped Creme Ends Hydration as a potential leave-in (from the Emporium)!

Regarding trims, I can understand your anxiety; I feel I cannot risk anyone handling my hair so I’ve been doing the trimming myself as a result lol. I must admit I know nothing about how to seek out a hair stylist that has experience with a particular curl type, sorry. There may be some information in the Curly Hair Salons/ Stylists Wanted forum relevant to your area though .